Evolution - wriggle ... roll ... crawl ... walk

A couple of days back Vira started rolling over onto her tummy and wriggling her hands and feet .  It seemed like she is doing some of the yoga asanas quite effortlessly . Bhujang asana is her favourite . 

And today in the morning, when all of us were rushing around in the ‘morning rush’ , she started crawling . I missed that moment when this ‘gyan uday’ happened. All I know is that one fine moment I saw the child on her fours and , with full concentration, making her way to an unknown destination. Wow!!

A couple of coordinated movements and she managed to reach the sofa for support. A few tugs and pulls and she managed to stand (albeit briefly) . Oh my !! talk of the pace of change :-).

This was too good to be kept to myself.. and as I called out , all the members of the household came out to ‘check this out’ . And promptly Vira refused to ‘do it again ‘ !! Haha

Do I believe in miracles? Yes . The ability to learn , unaided , is a miracle in so small a child. God sure has built in miracles into life .

Baby's first words , 'Maaaaa'. Homo Sapiens baby or a goat's kid ?

Maaaaa

Every hindi film buff will know these lines from Deewar (Amitabh Bachchan and Shahi Kapoor) :-

·        Vijay (AB): Aaj mere paas bangla hai, gadi hai, paisa hai.......tumhare paas kya hai?

·        Ravi (SK) : Mere paas Maa hai!

(Tacky interpretation in English :-

Vijay:Today I have a bungalow, car, lots of money.. what do you have?

Ravi: I have my mother!(and even after having everything you have lost her))

Why am I quoting this dialogue?  Because Vira now tries out a few variations of Ma now .

1.      Mamamamammmm

2.      Maaaaaaa

3.      Mehhhh mehh (like a goat)

4.      MAMMMMaAAAA

Yes, this is the first word she has spoken . I cannot tell you the immense sense of pride I feel . Incidentally, my elder daughter Reet started off with ‘DaDA da da da ‘  which clearly was an attempt at ‘Dad’ . I remember how thrilled Vikram (her pop) was !! These days I cannot help smiling grinning at the sounds that seem to be Vira’s version of ‘mother’ . J

PS :- The most interesting variant is the mehhh which is so much like a goat bleating that we can’t stop laughing when she starts off .

THE PHONE SAYS 'BHOW WOW'

The mobile phone is the most important tool for a mother with 2 kids in the nursery .It serves as a lifeline for so many of the hallmarks of sanity – advice from the doctor , connection to a career (and hoping that your colleagues can’t hear the baby noises ) , instant access to a source of food (despite having domestic help , you never know how much time will go managing the kids – and ofcourse, adult food requirements are a distinct second priority ) …. The list goes on .

It is also the most hated devise , especially as it will start ringing just when the baby starts dropping off the sleep – after you have spent hours rocking her and singing ‘old mcdonald had a farm …..’ . Tring !Tring! And by the time you press the ‘silent mode’button , the deed is done. Vira is awake and trying to get going … And you know how kids are ..they are wide awake in a minute and look at you with injured eyes – ‘how dare you mummy ! how could you put me to sleep when there are so many interesting activities to do out here , with you !? ‘

And if you keep your phone on silent mode, you end up missing all the phone calls that come in ..and misplace the phone too . Is there no way out of the dilemma ?

I had a eureka moment a couple of weeks back when I realised that Vira sleeps thru even if the dogs next door bark loudly . Yipeee !! I choose  a ring tone of a barking Labrador and its solved my problem. The child ignores it , assuming it’s a dog barking next door , and I can keep the ringer on ..
Remember the saying – Dog is a man’s best friend !!it takes on a whole new dimension J

 Combat techniques from the art of war –

a. Camouflage wins the day

(You can download barks from :-http://www.soundboard.com/sb/Barking_Sound_effects)

I'M HAPPY AND I KNOW IT......

Eek …yeeeek… ayeeeeee. I ran from my work desk to the child’s room . And found a very pleased infant and a giggling maid .Whaaat was that? It was Vira communicating .WOW !!this is big .  I just have to sit down and see her do it. Common baby one more time … Pleaseeeeeee .  But these are moments that define her existence. THE YELL, made with all her might, tight fists and stiff legs, all the concentration on the creation of a sound. It is definitely not very musical but it’s a start. ‘Kilkari’ is word in hindi which defines it – the unique sound of childhood. It’s a big upgrade from goooo, which she was using till date to denote positive emotions.

The surprising part is how fast her vocabulary seems to grow. And as she adds new sounds to her database, she also adds in emotions. So she actually frowns and her tone changes. I am able to differentiate between the ‘yeek when not pleased’ and ‘yeek when pleased’.

The biggest joy of parenthood is to be able to watch these self –learnings . I know that kids pick up cues from the environment around them and, at this stage, its mostly the house. But it will be extremely pompous for me to claim the credit for all her learnings. As I watch in amazement and happiness, I can only say a big ‘Thank you ‘to the almighty for giving me an opportunity to watch this evolution of Vira .

 

THANK YOU GOD FOR EVERYTHING! - WHAT NURSERY RHYMES SAY?

Thank you for the world so sweet,
Thank you for the food we eat.
Thank you for the birds that sing,
Thank you God for everything.

Love this rhyme that my older child learns at school. It is the first rhyme in her book and a great way to instil the attitude of gratitude. If only we could say thank you more often, the world would be a better place.

You know how it is with a kid of 4 months. Constant demands, to be picked up, fed , burped , entertained, changing diapers – the list is endless .  Add to that the demands of your household chores and interaction with a 3 year old. And top it up with your work. It seems I am spinning like a wheel. And I’m doing nothing well – my house is rarely as clean as my friend's -  A stay at home yummy mummy with a toddler.

Combat techniques from the art of war –

          Keep an attitude of gratitude. It helps keep a sunny temperament and focus on the important things that are going right at the moment.  You are a more successful solider in this battle of sanity while managing kids. You hardly get overwhelmed with duties

I SPIN LIKE A TOP - MUMMY

At 4 months Vira has become quite a handful. She expresses herself freely – and when I say freely I mean FREELY – shout, squeal, purr… depending on the mood. Will she be a dictator? Scary prospect. A Singer? Hopefully. A Politician? My mum says so .Wow...That’s quite a handful of vocations for a 4 month old baby

But this is how we parents are .. Dreaming about what our kids will do, how they will look, behave and feel as ‘adults’. This day dreaming is a pleasure so specifically made for parents  J . It makes up for all the things we CANNOT do today – party for long hours, spend on our whims and oh! So much more on the material front.

 

AND I SAW HER SIT - I'M A BELIEVER

Then I saw her face
Now I'm a believer
Not a trace
Of doubt in my mind
Now I'm a believer
Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah
I'm a believer
Then I saw her face
I'm a believer
Not a trace
Of doubt in my mind
I'm a believer ….

A personal favourite J and it comes to my mind every time I see Vira doing ..oh ..so many of the million things she does … like the first time I saw her sit up . We generally put her in the pram and prop her up with cushions. She was in a reclining position and suddenly pushed herself up !!and was upright – for about 30 seconds J her first ‘sitting by herself’ . 

Wow !!a small push for Vira , a big WOW moment for me . By the time I shouted out and my mom and thr maid came running , she had managed to topple forward and bang her head on the play rings attached in the front of the pram .  Oops !

THE MYSTERY OF VIRA'S HAIR - THERE OR NOT THERE

Ms. Vira’s head is nice and soft and round and fairly ‘clean’ – not much hair to be seen. This is just the opposite of what my eldest child has – lovely , soft and plentiful hair . My mother ‘s solution to this is to massage in oil on her head twice every day . The result of this practice has been that the existing hair has grown longer  but I do not see any new hair coming out .

When we went to the pediatrician for her check-up , I brought this to his notice . What he said gave me a small heart attack – his words implied that the kid will ‘shed all her hair by the time she is 6 months old and regrow them by her first birthday ‘ . The colour drained from my mother’s face and I was staring at the doctor – aghast .

We walked home in silence ..wondering how Vira’s hair will grow going forward . ?

Any thoughts?Your experience with something similar? Do share

WORKING WITH BABY AT 3 MONTHS !!

I’m losing my touch with the outside world ..and am feeling alienated . What’s happening on Facebook ? Linked In ?My favourite jewellery site? Let me log in … and then I lose touch with this new baby filled world and drift to my old one . The familiar feeling ..the mind moves into overdrive. Wow – that job opening is what I have  been looking for .. great deals on great stuff  … etc. etc.

A wail and I return to the world that centres around the baby .

And then I decided to get back to work – flexi time .

Step 1 – hire help. Even though my mom is around, she gets tired looking after the baby on a full time basis- mentally and physically. Babies are a full time job!! So , investing in hired help is the first towards freeing up time to work .

Step 2 – train the help . This is a two week process, and really helps me wean myself away from the baby as I see Lakshmi (the nanny) get a grip on things and do it ‘my way’. Vira is happy with her and I feel happy seeing this bonding. Leaving them under my mom’s guidance, I am feeling confident of spending time on work.

Don’t I feel guilty ?– handing the baby over to ‘others’ to take care? I think there must be no mother who does not feel that she is the best ‘mom’ and caregiver for her child. But then, work is my baby too and it is an integral part of who I am ..and my finances. The trick is to balance both and give each enough  attention to grow . Yes, I understand that I may not be able to do as much work as I was doing pre- Vira, but then, that is a trade-off I knew was coming .

A close look at the corporate environment and help from my friends helps me get work that I can do predominantly from home. Its not as easy as it sound

s as interruptions are many – mom drops in for an opinion , elder child returns from school and wants to share her day, maid asks if you need coffee etc. etc. But the flip side is , all of this makes me happy .. happy to be !!

Combat techniques from the art of war – 

a)      Be in a constant state of readiness for combat – create a no fuss wardrobe which needs minimum maintenance and ensure your battle gear (laptop, internet connection , wire-less ear phone etc.) are in top working condition for sudden assault from an external client and the baby . 

b)      Keep your main weapon in good condition. Listen to your body – don’t overdo anything else your work and baby will get effected tomorrow. Be smart. Think long term.

BABY TALK AT 75 DAYS :) MAKES MAMA PROUD

Vira’s maternal uncle (mama) was all agog to converse with his new niece. I sent him some pictures on Black berry messenger and one day the baby said the magical words – gooooo go goooooo!! 

20 seconds later we were on the phone for a mama bhanji  (uncle – niece) conversation –

Mama:- Hello beta (child)

Vira :-Gooooo

Mama :- So nice talking with u

Vira :-Goooo goo

This conversation is priceless !!Jand the first of many to come…

THE NIGHT VIGIL

The first 60 days are just over, and I feel like its been eternity since Vira’s been around. I can’t remember the last time I slept thru a night ..gosh ! 60 days look like a lifetime? No doubt Chinese methods of torture included sleep deprivation.

The best part is, she gets up , feeds, burps, poops and then falls asleep effortlessly about 80% of the time .. for these 20 mins of waking time for her , its 1 hour waking time for me – cause it includes,

·         20 mins with the baby

·         20 mins eating, drinking water, visiting the loo etc.

·         20 mins trying to fall asleep …

And then she is up again, in about 1 and a half hour!!  Since the spinal injection section hurts a bit every time I get up , the whole night is miserable .. and I get up feeling very tired in the morning . Thankfully my mother takes her from there and my life gets simple- try and stay awake and do some office work . Coffee – splash water in the face- type , type, type – feed – and repeat the chain . A two hour nap in the afternoon is the highlight of my day .

Combat techniques from the art of war –

a.       Be prepared to tackle the enemy

·         Keep some low calorie chocolate ready for a quick munch in the middle of the night

·         Keep lots of water on the bedside table

·         And all the baby stuff within reach

Stay positive .Don’t dwell on the current situation of siege– imagine the happy time ahead .Eg , the walks you will take with you kid, the slim figure you will achieve in a year or two etc.

 

The 'poop' issue

The poop issue

Baby poop is yellow and squishy. And seems to come out nearly everytime she pees .. or farts .. or burps .What is this ? Nothing to worry – say the doctors. It is normal for children to have no control over their bodily functions . Some kids, and it seems Vira  will fall in this category , do this till they are 90 days old. So I guess I can look forward to a million soiled nappy’s in the next 50 days .

P.S. In India grandma’s try to make you believe that baby poop is ‘chandan’ (sandalwood powder) J

Check out this site –baby poop guide - http://www.babycenter.com/100_baby-poop-guide_10319406.bc

The immunisation cycle - keep the baby comfortable on ‘those’ days

The immunisation cycle and how to keep the baby comfortable on ‘those’ days

The cycle of immunisation ensures that the baby is to get a vaccination injection nearly every month in the first 2 years . These jabs lead to redness and small bumps thru swelling and a lot of crying at the point of injection . Even if you take the ‘painless’ vaccination, it may lead to fever and pain . Vira is used to her massage and bath cycle. The doctor advised us to continue with it – just avoid massaging the concerned limb for 2 days . And that worked!! Of course we had to give her Calpol drops for pain and she developed colic that night – most likely because of the strong vaccination.

A grandma’s recipe to combat stomach ache caused by gas formation /colic is to take a pinch of asafoetida (hing in hindi) and dissolve it in half a spoon of water .Apply the paste around her naval and get ready to hear the musical sounds of the baby fartJ. I vouch for this method – which worked wonders for my kids.

And if you need instant relief from a bottle - Colic aid is a God sent and helps give instant relief.

Combat techniques from the art of war –

a.       Prepare for a rough night on the days of vaccination since the child’s suffering is maximum after sun-down

b.      Keep your ammunition in good order to compact the enemy (pain , fever, colic) – Calpol drops and Colic aid and a hot water bottle .

The initial sights and sounds - baby in month 1 and 2 :-)

Vira started recognising me (her mom) by smell by the first 2 weeks – and with that started her attempts to communicate. By week 4 she was yelling with 4 discernible sounds.. which seemed to express pleasure (or displeasure) of varying degrees .  Then started the facial movements .. the eyebrow lift, the widening of her eyes, the various shapes of her mouth , the turning of her head to follow movements . She became more demanding – I want a feed NOW, I want to be lifted NOW … Demands of a growing kid – week 7 and she is kicking with gusto , loves being on her stomach (though she cannot roll over yet) and has started opening her fists to hold on to clothes .

The nappy scene – and the 'Art of War'

My mother, who is the mainstay of Vira’s care (apart from the feeding and night care) is gone to attend  a wedding. The baby is 47 days old … and just figuring out that the world ‘out there’ , away from the crib , is a very interesting one. And she sure does not want to miss the action . So everytime we rock her to sleep, she wakes up as soon as  she is put down into her crib J . This is one out and outer baby. And as all of know, if the baby is awake, the frequency of feeding, burping, peeing and doing potty goes up two fold. So in the afternoon the cotton cloth nappy is replaced with Pampers Active Baby diaper to let me rest for 40 minutes (yes .. 20 minutes to hand her over to the maid , all dry and happy, prepare myself for a nap and a 40 minute nap before the maid brings her for a feed) .

About the Late morning / afternoon nap :- This nap is a huge life saver – it helps me stay cheerful till the end of the day .And absolutely helps beat depression (which can creep up so very easily when you feel tired and it feels like the baby has overtaken your life)

 And then by the evening we (maid and I) are all too tired to want her to wake up during her fits of sleep . So out comes the diaper again. The trick I’ve learnt ,to avoid nappy rash, is to put a lotion everytime we change the diaper. And to change the diaper rather frequently (not wait for her to pee into it 6 times – as written on the pack) . I find that nappy rash is mostly  due to over drying the skin (the diaper absorbs all oil etc. from the skin and adding in a dose of baby powder just makes it drier and more itchy and red) or letting the soiled diaper stay on for longish periods of time .

Combat techniques from the art of war –

a.       take short naps

b.      use technology (diapers with extra aloe vera)  to increase your effectiveness – but take precautions not to be upset by the enemy (nappy rash)

c.       thank god for surviving everyday - love your mother  and maid and husband and whoever makes this survival possible

The mystery of the rattle – why kids love it from day 1

So your child is crying .. and yelling in protest when you take her for a bath / try and change her clothes? Vira does this so often, thinking she can browbeat me or her granny into surrender. The best way to tackle this has been the rattle – the louder the better. She stops crying and gets distracted and we can slip her clothes on and off without a problem!! .

Combat techniques from the art of war – distract the enemy (baby) and accomplish your task.

PS - love the rattles at http://hoopos.com/h?q=rattle 

Baby week 2 and lentil soup - indian style

Week 2:- I’m back from the hospital . The baby is looking a bit larger and I am more confident of holding her.  Her redness has disappeared and she now looks ‘normal’ . Such tiny hands and legs. And she seems to have a small but sharp nose. Just like my mother ! and very unlike my first baby – Reet. Reet’s nose was very flat and so much time and energy was spent massaging it to make it ‘sharp’ and beautiful .. not that any of it helped J

The umbilical cord dropped off on day 11 . So the Indian ritual of a daily massage has started . Want to more about managing a baby the ‘Indian’ way ? Do read up ‘Gentle first year’ by Dr Gowri Motha and Kareen Swan Macleod. This was lent to me by a friend and has  practical advise on how to manage the baby.The things you can look up include how to massage the baby .

We have started off with Olive oil (virgin). It suited Reet (my older kid) and we see no reason to doubt it being the best choice for the second one .

A word about baby Johnson’s oil.. it did not suit our older baby Reet a bit . She developed rashes and the doctor told us how about 30-40% children in his experience do not react favourably to Johnson’s baby oil. So a 100% natural vegetable oil is a better bet.

 And we have also discovered that Vira sleeps in the day and likes being awake in the night .. just sort of looks around and exercised her lungs. So we need to sleep with a night light on !! A baby being awake means lots of wet and soiled diapers .

We notice a yellow discharge from her right eye .It is giving her discomfort as the eye lids get stuck together. A run to the doctor and he prescribes some eye drops – and says its conjunctivitis. How scary !!

In India the new born baby and mother are kept under ‘house arrest’ for 40 days. This gives the mother ample time to recover and the baby to adjust to the outside world. I need to drink only warm water, eat a lot of ghee rich , dry fruit rich food , dal (especially red dal or massoor dal- red lentils) – cooked quite like soup so that I could have a couple of bowls of it .

 How to cook dal (red / black lentils) – soup style

1.       Wash 2 tablespoons of raw dal

2.       Put this into the pressure cooker and add 2 glasses of water

3.       Add a tomato (diced), a sliver of ginger and a bit of garlic , a pinch of turmeric , some black pepper and salt

4.       Let the pressure cooker cook for 2 whistles(approx.. 10 minutes)

5.       Soup is ready

Note:- Strain the mixture thru a sieve if you like it thin

All lentils / peas etc. are rich in protein and great for a new mum – low on fats and carbs . So hopefully I will reduce some weight fast. They help improve the quality and quantity of milk – so it helps my baby too . A truly win – win situation J

Growing Vira – lessons in parenting- Indian style

Vira was born on 18^th Oct 2012. At 3:14 am – after the labour started at 12:15 am. About 5 days before time . And then started this journey – of ‘growing Vira’.

Week 1 – The baby is red and wrinkled initially and the vision is near zero.  Suckling means having to guide her else she spends time just trying to locate the source of milk by opening her mouth and turning her head with small jerks in all directions !! talk about helplessness. The best way to keep her warm is to take a very small cotton cloth 100 cm by 100 cm , and make a triangle by folding it into two. Place the baby with her head above the cloth (in the centre of the diagonal) and wrap from 3 directions. Tuck .. Tuck … tuck .

You have a baby wrapped up like the kid in ice age J

The baby is happy in her cocoon and sleeps for about 22 hours a day . Leaving ample time for me to recover from the birth. Her umbilical cord is still attached to her navel . No massage for her till the cord does not ‘shed’ by itself. Just a gentle application of oil (any natural vegetable oil) and a bath (with plain water) and she is ready for her day. We keep her in diapers (Pambers) all the time .This is against the concept of fine cotton (cloth) diapers but it is a god sent in the cooler climate of Bangalore. Caution – do remember to apply a small quantity of oil / lotion every time you change the diaper. This assures that her skin is moist and does not dry off and redden.

Learning :-

1. Keep the baby in a cocoon. She feels she is still in the womb and is happy.

2. Apply oil / lotion everytime you change diapers. She will not develop redness / nappy rash

3. Avoid massage / vigorous bathing (with soap) till her umbilical cord does not shed